only help my unbelief

Last night Christian and I did what was probably one of the most fun things we’ve ever done together.

He’s teaching me classical Greek.

Last night we went over the alphabet, which wasn’t too hard because I’ve taken Russian, and the alphabets are very similar. Then he had me practice reading out loud. The first passage I read was hard, but the second passage (from the book of John) was actually not too bad. There were a couple letters I kept mixing up, but I think with some more practice my pronunciation will be pretty good.

I’m really excited about this. Now that I’m done with college, I think I’ll miss that learning process. And Greek is productive, too, because I won’t be surprised if God calls us to the mission field to do translation work. At least that’s where my heart is right now.

Anyway, I’m excited about more Greek this afternoon. These past few days in Sewanee have been heavenly.

It’s 6:22 a.m. on a Thursday morning. I went to sleep a little less than six hours ago, but woke up twenty minutes ago unable to sleep.

I’m not a morning person. I remember people telling me about going to bed early so they could get up in the morning and do homework. That never worked for me. I knew that if it wasn’t done before my head hit the pillow, it probably wouldn’t get done.

Yesterday was a hard day at school. It ended up well, and I felt a sense of accomplishment, but it took much perseverance and all the grace God had to offer me to get through it.

And now it’s over. I’m heading to school for a few hours this morning to help everyone get their stories online, but then I’m going to get in my car and drive to Tennessee. And it’s the last time I’ll ever have to make the drive alone.

It’s the end of an era. An era of late night phone calls that leave me weary in the morning. An era of six-hour drives and weekends that end too soon. An era of countdowns and separations. An era of saying “One day, it won’t be like this anymore.” Because that one day will be here in two weeks, and this trip up to Tennessee is long taste of that new life.

It’s been just over two years since a similar Thursday morning when I woke up having hardly slept. For days I had been counting down, tying up loose ends. And then the day came, and I spent the morning at work mostly unable to contain my excitement. When I had been in the car for about four hours, I made the first of many phone calls to a now memorized number. And after that very first six-hour drive, I pulled into the driveway of a quaint brick building with a German flag hanging from the balcony and a tall, charming guy standing in the front yard.

A lot accumulates in two years. By the grace of God we’ve survived my depression, his busyness, my lack of spontaneity, his six months in Germany. And our friendship has grown, turning into something more beautiful than I ever imagined.

I know I’m going to be tired on the drive up there, but I don’t care. It’s the last time.

Katie and I just finished watching Dancing with the Stars: The Results, and we both cheered when Cristian de la Fuente was saved from elimination because of his awesome foxtrot last night.

As Cristian said himself last night – just call him Frederico Astaire.

Tonight I went to my girls’ Bible study for an end-of-the-semester hoorah. We had ice cream at a delightful place in Five Points and then went to some of the girls’ house and played Catchphrase. One of the phrases to guess was wrist wrestling.

Does anyone know what that is? We tried for a long time after we played to demonstrate what we thought wrist wrestling was, but I don’t think we ever really figured it out.

…that when I finally came up with something to write about, I didn’t have my computer?

Still, HP turned around my machine really quickly. I dropped it off at FedEx Wednesday morning, and it was back in Columbia by Saturday. I couldn’t pick it up until this morning, though, which meant a weekend of checking my e-mail over the phone with Christian’s help. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but I did have some good ideas for blog posts.

But I can’t remember them now. For inspiration, I’m listening to the soundtrack for Les Miserables. I went to see a high school production of it with Katie last Friday night, and it was wonderful. I saw it in middle school, but at the time I couldn’t appreciate the artistic and musical beauty. I just downloaded the 10th anniversary recording on iTunes, and it is already worth the money I spent on it.

I have two-and-a-half days left at the Carolina Reporter. We actually have some work to do now, as we’re writing a story Wednesday in three-person teams. I’m working with my current assistant managing editor, Brian, and another girl, Karissa. I think that we’ll make a good team, and we already have a working story idea – we’re going to cover the annual undergraduate research day. It’s not until Friday, but we’re going to do an “advance” and see what kinds of research everyone is doing.

Even though I didn’t really enjoy my days as a reporter, I’m kind of looking forward to Wednesday, because I’ll actually have something to do. And then I’ll just have to deal with Thursday morning before I head up to Sewanee.

It’s hard to believe that by this time next week, I’ll never have to attend another college class. As excited as I am about Sewanee and the end of this semester, it will be hard to leave on Thursday. I’ve had a really good time this semester, even with all the frustrations and challenges. And I am looking forward to my internship this summer, but the comfort and familiarity of college will be missed.

Three more mornings of the stale smell of the coliseum. Three more days without windows. Three more days of Macs. And three days from now, Lord willing, I’ll be with Christian.

Bring it on.

I entered these in a contest to win $1,000. The task was to write a haiku about your mom for Mother’s Day. I love my mom dearly, and it wasn’t hard to think of a way to honor her with my words.

1. “You can’t see the growth at first”
Like the rain that falls
On soil. Years later, the trees
Grow because of you.

2. “Help me find my way”
Sorrows, pains or tears–
You navigate with ease through
My complexities.

3. “I’m not embarassed to need you”
At twenty-two, I
Wonder if I’m too old to
Call. You say I’m not.

4. “I only have the good memories”
I remember when
You sang in the kitchen. I
Still know all the songs.

I’ve babysat four times in the past 9 days, not including picking up two of my favorite little girls from school. Three of those times were for the same family, who I hadn’t watched in a really long time.

Probably because of that, I slept like a log last night. I spoke to Christian for a few minutes before I went to bed, then conked out around midnight. I’m trying to get out of the college mindset that says when you don’t have to get up early the next morning, you should stay up at late as possible. Last weekend I stayed up until 2 a.m. doing who-knows-what, and only slept until 9 a.m. This morning I slept until 10 a.m., which meant 10 solid hours of sleep.

That said, babysitting is fun. I have been blessed not to ever babysit for kids that are really difficult. Most of the time I spend the majority of the evening laughing because all the kids I watch are so funny.

On Tuesdays, I pick up MTB and FB from school. I watched them and their two younger sisters all last summer. I don’t have any pictures of them because I had my hands full keeping track of them – ages 5 and 4 – and their two younger sisters, MB (20 months) and KB (only 6 weeks old when I first started keeping her).

Two times last week and on Thursday, I watched some boys from church. This family also has four kids – LB (almost 7), PB (almost 5), SB (2.5) and BB (born in December). They’re basically the same ages as the girls I watched before, but boys are really different from girls.

When I babysat the “B” girls, we spent most of our time playing house up in their room, or watching a movie, or doing crafts at the kitchen table. When I watched SB and BB last week, SB ran across the room approximately 83 times, back and forth, asking me to watch. Granted, it required very little involvement on my part, but I just don’t know where that energy comes from.

This past Thursday I watched all four boys, and the older three all started this running business, which was much more stressful because they inevitably would run into someone else when they got to the other end of the room. Thankfully, though, they got tired pretty quickly and my mind was much eased when they suggested we watch “Happy Feet,” only because I didn’t have to worry about them hurting themselves.

But probably my favorite kids to babysit are MEC and AC, ages 3 and almost 1. I watch them pretty regularly, probably once every two weeks, and it’s always a joy. AC is normally in bed or about to go to bed when I get there, but when I do get to spend time with her, there’s nothing I love more than her smile.

MEC has more personality than any other three-year-old I’ve met. She’s still very much a little girl – last week we couldn’t go to bed until she found her “lovey” – but she can actually engage me in conversation. She had pizza for dinner last night, so asked me if I wanted some. I said no, I’d already had dinner. She asked what I had eaten, and I said “spaghetti.” Her face lit up.

MEC: “Basketti? I had basketti last night!”

So yeah, she’s pretty cute. Last time I watched her, she insisted on putting on my shoes and dancing. With Minnie. And Dora. But once she got to her feet, she couldn’t actually move without falling over.

So yeah. I pretty much love babysitting. It makes me want to have kids who yell at me to wait before I leave so they can hug me, and who add “Lord willing” onto the ends of my sentences when I say something, and who pray sweet prayers about what seems small to me. Because God really can keep you from wetting your bed at night. He’s that big.

I’m a little late in writing this, as our two-year anniversary was yesterday, but I thought documenting the time in pictures would be a cheesy, terrible idea – so I’m doing it. The picture above was taken April 9, 2006, right before I headed back to South Carolina after visiting Christian for the first time.

June 2006; Winchester, TN

August 2006; Lexington, KY

October 2006; Sewanee, TN

May 2007; Bamberg, Germany

November 2007; Columbia, SC

February 2008; Columbia, SC

As I compiled these pictures, I realized how many different places we’ve been together over the last two years. I suppose that’s the advantage (?) of having a long-distance relationship.

Maybe some other day I’ll recount how we met, but I’ve told that story so many times that I don’t feel like re-telling it today. Mostly what I want to say is that I’m thankful for Christian, and I can’t wait until May 8 when we don’t have to say goodbye anymore.

Praise the Lord.

Today, while talking about restaurant menus, Jess and I had a fabulous idea.

We’re going to start our own freelance business where we offer to fix restaurant menus for a minimal price. Our first victim was the place where I ate on Saturday while I was in Charleston, Hyman’s.

We have written two letters to them, one that we’ll actually send and one that Jess and I co-authored as a joke. Check them out here, and keep checking back for more egregious grammar errors.