only help my unbelief

53 days
February 24, 2009, 8:40 am
Filed under: Posts

In case you’re confused about me saying there are 54 days left, be advised that I started writing this yesterday (Monday), and then things came up. There’s a shocker.

Remember when I said I was going to write every day for the last 75 days before the wedding? That was three weeks ago.

Now there’s 54 days left. 21 days later. I have no idea where the last three weeks have gone.

Let’s just say that I’m glad that I’m only going to do this once, because even though it hasn’t been stressful, it’s kind of put me over the edge when it comes to making lists and staying on top of things. I need a list of people invited to the rehearsal dinner; I need a list of what else I need to do that’s not related to the wedding; I need a list of all the people who have volunteered to help with the reception. And then I think I’ll start working on a list of all my lists.

The one good thing about it has been getting to use Microsoft Excel to plan out every second of my life. There’s a spreadsheet for the budget; a spreadsheet for the guest list; a spreadsheet for the program; and now I’m working on a spreadsheet of the remaining days and what needs to be done on each of the days.

I had a minor moment of freaking out when I jotted down all the days where I don’t have anything scheduled, which indicates a day when I could work on wedding stuff. There were about five days. Insert heart attack here. Then I realized some of the days that had scheduled things were still days where I could work on stuff, because the scheduled thing was in the late afternoon or evening, or just in the morning. It did make me more thankful that I’m not working full-time, though, because I don’t know how I would be able to do anything.

And really, the big things are not really wedding things. For example: Packing up my stuff. I told Christian last night that I want to make a “clean break” so that I’m not driving to my parents’ house to get stuff after we get back from our honeymoon. Of course, I still want to see my parents often, but I truly do want to “leave and cleave.” He was all for this idea, but that means I’ve got to start thinking about what I really want to be a part of my new life and what’s really not that important. This is difficult for me. Another thing: My and Christian’s taxes. I still haven’t gotten all the forms I need, so I can’t start doing mine. I hope they come soon, because in case anyone hasn’t noticed, the date when taxes need to be filed and the date when my wedding is are only three days apart. And that’s pretty much not what I want to be doing the week before my wedding.

On the weight loss front, things are looking good. The last time I weighed myself (Saturday), I was down to 192.4 pounds, which means I’ve lost more than 10 pounds. I was trying to figure out how that was happening, since I didn’t feel like I ate that well last week, but I guess it was because I ran 4 times last week. I was hoping to continue that streak today, but it doesn’t look like I’ll have time to run until Thursday morning, and it’s so cold outside that I’m doubtful I’ll be able to go for very long walks with Betsy over the next few days.

One good thing is that I’m becoming increasingly blessed by the body of Christ in relation to the wedding. I can’t even keep track of how many people have offered to help me with things. One group of ladies is helping me with the reception, and I honestly couldn’t do it without them. When I look at my schedule and start to freak out, God is faithful to remind me that I’ve got people around me who are going to catch me if I stumble. And that’s a good thing.

And while there was a time a couple months ago when I understood why wedding planning can strain the relationship between the future bride and groom, that really hasn’t been the case. Christian has been faithful to listen and to take care of things that I don’t need to be a part of, like the honeymoon and finding us an apartment. I did go to look at the apartment, once, but he’s done everything else. And I don’t even know where we’re going on the honeymoon.

All that to say that this is a good time. I’m not necessarily enjoying it – I’d much rather be married – but it’s all going by so quickly that it’s hard to get discontent. Like our pastor said Sunday during pre-marital counseling: “Three years down to eight weeks? You can make it.”

I concur.


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