only help my unbelief

46 days
March 3, 2009, 11:30 am
Filed under: Posts

Ever since there were 95 days left until the wedding, I’ve been reading the corresponding psalm each night before bed. Today that means I’ll be reading Psalm 46, and when I thought about it this morning I remembered what comes at the very end of that psalm: “Be still, and know that I am God.”

We’re just over six weeks away from the wedding, and God knew that I would need that gentle reminder when we got to this point.

We’ve known of several couples who have broken off the engagement as The Day drew closer, and that always flabbergasted me. Christian and I haven’t even come close to that point, but I think I know how it can happen.

For me, the thing that keeps me sane is remembering that at the end of this, I get to be married to Christian. When the details overwhelm me, that is a comfort.

But then in the midst of making decisions, Christian does something that irritates me. Remembering I get to be married to him isn’t really much of a comfort at that point, because why would I want to be married to someone who irritates me so much?

And that’s when Jesus has to enter the picture, although I probably should have brought Him in a bit sooner. Because I know that these things will happen when we’re married, and they might not happen over such temporal things as what flavor wedding cake to have or who should videotape the ceremony.

One bright point has been that some of the decisions we’ve made have turned out to be good oness, even though some people were worried. For example, the invitations. We got them very inexpensively, and we’ve received nothing but complimentary thoughts about them. As for the idea of e-mailing RSVPs, not only has it been quite easy to keep track of them, but I’ve been able to e-mail back everyone who has e-mailed us, just to tell them we appreciate them coming to our wedding (or not) and that we look foward (or are sorry not) to see them in April. It’s been a real joy.

It also looks like we might even come in under budget. This is something I’m praying that I won’t be surprised by, because I know the Lord knows how much money we have to spend, and  He knows that we are trying our very best to make wise and careful decisions about every penny that we spend.

More good news – instead of paying several hundred dollars in taxes, like I expected to, I’m actually going to get about $700 back. I was talking with Christian last night about what we would do with the money, and I think that for now, we’re just going to sock it away in a savings account to see what we might need it for. Then hopefully we can use it this summer to buy some bedroom furniture. God is so good to provide.

And so I think the thing really is just that I need to be still. I need to be still about the details. God has provided so much already; I need to trust Him that He will provide the rest.


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