only help my unbelief

February 10, 2009, 4:44 pm
Filed under: Posts

My sister gave me the first book in the Twilight series for Christmas. She knew I would never buy it for myself, or even check it out from the library, so in order to convince me that I really would enjoy the books, she gave it to me, no strings attached. On Christmas afternoon, I settled onto the couch and started reading. I finished the book that day. Since then, I’ve borrowed the other three books from a friend, and each time I start reading, the scene is the same: I start reading after dinner, telling myself I’ll read a bit before bed. Hours later, while checking the room for stray vampires, I collapse into bed.

The books are not necessarily well-written, but the story lines are compelling. The heroine, Bella, is pretty obnoxious, but her one true love, Edward, is flawless, as we are reminded time and time again. How could he not be? Not only is he supernaturally strong and powerful, but he loves Bella fiercely and consistently places her needs above his own (not that he has many – he doesn’t even eat or sleep). It’s hard not to fall in love with him, even through the pages of the books. By the last book, they’re married with a child, and it is assumed that they will live happily ever after, probably without ever having another care in the world.

Last Sunday Christian and I had our first session of pre-marital counseling. We sat in our pastor’s office and went through all the ways love is described in 1 Corinthians 13, sharing in what ways we tend to sin specifically. I saw my sin and Christian’s sin more clearly than I ever had before, especially when placed in such stark contrast to how God describes love. When we were done, I was thankful for all the wisdom from our pastor, but I also couldn’t help thinking, “We are complete messes.” And it wasn’t hard to see why so many marriages don’t last more than a couple days, months, years.

But God’s love never fails. That means that we should strive for God’s love, but I think it means even more than that. I think it means that even when it seems like everything is a complete mess – like the days between Good Friday and Resurrection Day – we can be sure that God is at work, redeeming things for His own glory. That’s what was happening when Jesus was on the cross, and I think that’s what’s happening right now between me and Christian. When Christian forgets to do something I’ve asked him to do, it forces me to die to self. And when I start crying at the drop of the hat, Christian has to fight against his desire to snap at me. These are messy things, not easy things, and it’s probably something that fictional vampires never have to struggle with.

But I’ll take Christian over Edward any day. The tears, the mess, the dirt, the filth, the sin – grace and redemption are that much more beautiful in comparison.


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Ah glad you did not swallow the Twilight koolaid…I tried very hard not to read or watch the movie, until after not having been to a movie theater in ages I went with a group of friends from another church not knowing which movie we’d be watching, I found out when we there we’d be watching Twilight, I sat there. And sure there are some parts of the movie that are ok/funny/whatever, and there’s even one part when Bella is willing to die for her mom, but the love story? ugh I just feel like that kind of “love” is too idolatrous…just my two cents.

“The tears, the mess, the dirt, the filth, the sin – grace and redemption are that much more beautiful in comparison.” –> amen!

I’ve been reading this book by John Piper, This Momentary Marriage, have you heard of/read it? It’s really good! I’d recommend it to you both…if I haven’t already.

God bless ya girlie!

Comment by Rita M.

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