only help my unbelief

What matters to us
December 15, 2008, 2:16 pm
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It’s like a mantra, ringing in my ears anytime even the hint of wedding planning enters my mind.

It’s not that big of a deal.

I haven’t given up on getting married, and I’m not just being avoidant about the whole thing. It’s just that I’ve been praying, and praying, and praying for God to settle my heart about the whole thing, and this is the word He’s given me.

It’s not that big of a deal.

I guess, in some ways, that’s not completely true. Getting married is a big deal. It’s a life-changing event. And I’m excited about marrying Christian. Really excited.

And certain things about the wedding are important, too. That’s why I’ve picked a few things that really matter to me (and Christian), and the rest of it? It’s not that big of a deal.

We want our wedding to be glorifying to God and Christ-centered.
This means that the ceremony in which we get married will be a worship service. There will be a sermon, congregational hymns, a call to worship and a benediction, among other things. We are aware that this will make some people fairly uncomfortable, but we’re OK with that. Being in the presence of God as an unrepentant sinner should make you feel uncomfortable, and our prayer and desire and hope is that our wedding ceremony will be used by God to save our friends and family members who don’t know God. We want them to see the beauty of Christ in the simplicity and reverence of the ceremony.

We want to wear modest and appropriate clothing.
This applies to me more so than to Christian, I guess, but this really is important to us. We’re not legalistic about styles of clothing or how many inches here or there, but we want my wedding dress and the dresses that my bridesmaids wear to be modest. I’m not planning on this meaning that my dress will look like something my great grandmother would have worn. I’ve actually tried on several dresses that are beautiful and incredibly appropriate. We’re aware that few people at our wedding would probably think twice if I were to wear a dress with a really low top or back, but we care, and we know that God cares.

We want to enjoy celebrating with our friends and family.
What this translates into is a low-key rehearsal dinner and reception, because we don’t want to get caught up in the details of the tableclothes or spending time coming up with seating charts. We’ll have light refreshments, wedding cake, dancing and good music. We’ll talk to our faraway friends and family, and then we will take off for our honeymoon refreshed and relaxed, full of joy at the fellowship we got to experience on what will be thus far the happiest day of our lives together.

We want to be wise with the money that has been entrusted to us.
We have more money than we need to spend on the wedding, but we want to be good stewards of it. We’re going to do the invitations by hand, have minimal decorations at the church, and arrange the bouquets on our own. These are things that aren’t super important to us that we can do very inexpensively. Because really, who cares what the invitations look like? Most people are going to throw them away once the wedding’s over.

I’m so thankful that God has been changing our hearts about how He wants us to plan our wedding. I have so much peace and joy right now, and I’m not stressed or worried at all about any of the plans we have to make. I’ve got wonderful people surrounding me with their counsel and advice, and I’ve got a great fiance who could care less what color the bridesmaid dresses are, as long as we’re both in the front of the church on April 18, hand in hand.

‘Cause marrying your best friend? That’s a big deal. And I can’t wait.


4 Comments so far
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Sounds like a perfect mindset as you plan the day! We also kept our wedding simple, and we don’t regret it. (I only regret being too practical on my dress, b/c you only get to choose that once . . .).

What stands out to me from our day is the joy we had during the photos—so much fun! Our faces hurt b/c we were smiling at each other so much, not b/c there were too many photos taken. 🙂 And I also remember us kneeling before God as the pastor prayed over us—we were both in tears, so grateful for God’s goodness to us.

There is nothing better than to have non-believing relatives say (even now, years later!) that our wedding was the sweetest, most personal they’ve ever attended. I think it was the Spirit, so strong in that place, that everyone was drawn in and covered. So sweet!

May you have similar, simple, precious memories of the day God knits you and Christian together! Blessings and peace!

Comment by erinstraza

Awww, thanks, Erin! I’m so glad to hear from someone else with a similar mindset, and to know you don’t have huge regrets about it.

Comment by CLK

I’m back! Saw this post and thought of you. Maybe you’ve already been there? If not, I hope it’s interesting.


Comment by Erin Straza

I hadn’t seen that post, but I’d read the quote from the pastor. So true! Thanks for sharing!

Comment by Chelsey

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