only help my unbelief

Bringing back memories
October 7, 2008, 7:00 am
Filed under: Posts

Tomorrow night I have a date with Christian.

This may not seem so strange. After all, he is my boyfriend. But for more than two years, we didn’t have dates. We had weekend visits here and there, which I guess were essentially one long date, interrupted by his classes and my work schedule and him dropping me off at the dorm of some of his girl-friends or driving to a couple from church’s house to spend the night.

Those days ended back in May, but the echoes of them still reverberate sometime. Like this past weekend.

He left Friday to go up to Tennessee for a school event he was asked to attend by a friend who’s still in college. In some ways I kind of dreaded him going, mostly because I enjoy spending Sunday afternoons with him and doing something fun on Friday or Saturday night. I was happy to give that up for the chance for him to be with his friends from home.

At the same time, once he left, a familiar longing settled in. The old feelings of him so far away all the time came back with a vengeance. I knew he would be coming back tomorrow, but the nightly phone calls and stories about his Tennessee friends were suddenly natural. We were used to this.

Sunday afternoon we talked on the phone, like we always used to do. And in the midst of me feeling like the long-distance-ness had never ended, he broke through the cloud.

“So, Blair [his youth pastor] told me that he was having lunch with KM [friend from church who goes to school in KY] this week. I was really excited and told him I’d love to come!”

“Oh, great!” I replied.

“Yeah, but then he said that they were having lunch Wednesday.”

I didn’t say anything. Maybe he had decided to call off our date. If so, I would do my best to be cheerful.

“But I told him I couldn’t, because I had to leave early to get back in time for our date Wednesday night.”

Things are definitely not as they once were.

Today marks two-and-a-half years since the night Christian told me he would come see me whenever he could, and that he wanted to pursue a relationship with me with the intent of marriage. He says two-and-a-half years isn’t that big of a deal, but I think it’s a pretty big deal he’s put up with me for this long.


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