only help my unbelief

To myself four years ago
August 21, 2008, 4:20 pm
Filed under: Posts

Dear 2004 Chelsey,

You’re a mix of anxious and eager today. Anxious because you don’t know what college will hold, and eager because you’re really excited about what college might hold.

If I tell you that four years from today, you’ll be looking for a job and babysitting a whole lot in the meantime, you probably won’t believe me – and maybe that’s for the best. ‘Cause you really need to stop living so far ahead of yourself and God’s grace that He promises for each new morning.

Even though this first year will be tough, don’t worry. It gets better from then on. Some of the people you meet this year will still be your friends in four years. And some of the ones you meet this year that you expect to be friends with forever won’t really be around in four years, but that’s OK. God has hand-picked a group of girls to be your bosom friends, and they will stick closer than sisters to you.

God has something really huge lined up for you in this first month. You won’t see it as good, and when it happens it will feel like the worst thing ever, but in four years, a couple of scars on your forehead will still be daily reminders of the night you got hit in the head with a vase and thought you were going to go blind, and instead, God opened the eyes of your heart to His glorious sovereignty.

You won’t go blind, but you will struggle with a lot of other things. I know you think you’re going to have a perfect 4.0 through college, and I know you think that would be the very best thing, but getting a B+ in one of your classes this first semester might turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you.

On the romantic relationship horizon, there seem to be crushes everywhere. That’s because you’re 18 and in college, and suddenly there are so many more options. Wait, though. Even though it seems like having a boyfriend is the best thing ever, especially when it seems like everyone else is dating someone, it will be better to wait until it’s The One and you’ve never have dated anyone else.

You’re not going to heed my advice, but because God is bigger than you-in-four-years, He will redeem every sorrow you bring upon yourself through a relationship with a boy. You won’t feel it at the time, but when you look back on it, you’ll realize that God really did catch every tear that you cried on those late nights out on the Horseshoe by yourself.

And take some chances, girl. Once you graduate, you’ll realize that college is a remarkably burden-free time, and you’ll wish you could do it again.

Smile at people when you walk by them. Don’t come up with ways to avoid eye contact, like pretending your phone is ringing.

Don’t be afraid to call people to hang out. Maybe they’re a lot like you and are waiting for you to call them.

When you first hear about somebody who met their significant other online, don’t laugh so hard. You try so hard not to be portrayed as a nerd, and at the end of your sophomore year, you’re going to be able to relate to those people really really well.

Enjoy nights out at Moe’s with your girlfriends, because they’ll end sooner than you think.

And don’t forget that God loves you. He really does. And it’s not because you were valedictorian of your high school, or because you got lots of scholarships to school, or because you make really good grades this year. He loves you because He loves you. You’re not going to learn that overnight, and you still won’t know it well in four years, but start telling reminding yourself of that, because one day, it’s all you’re going to have to hold onto.


2008 Chelsey


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