only help my unbelief

Executing a back dive
August 4, 2008, 10:24 am
Filed under: Posts

While I’m in the middle of writing about my experience moving back home, I thought I’d try doing more spontaneous blog posts. I used to do this on my Xanga blog all the time, and I really kind of miss the personal, timely aspect of it.

When I was about 11 years old, we lived in an apartment complex with a pool. I love to swim, and so does the rest of my family, so we went to the pool every day one summer.

At one point, I decided I want to learn how to dive in backwards; that is, standing with my back to the water, pointing my hands up in the air, and basically flipping over as I dove in. It sounds complicated, but it’s really not.

But it is scary. Sometimes it doesn’t go just right, and you end up doing a belly flop or hitting your face in the water.

So often, when I would try to do it, I would stand there forever. And finally, right before I did it, I would just have to stop thinking about it and just do it.

Years later, I told this story all the time to a good friend in high school. It got to the point where she made fun of me, because I related it to everything.

But the concept still rings true. Especially right now, as I make an exceedingly difficult phone call to turn down a job that I’ve already been offered and that I’ve already accepted. I’ve been thinking about it all weekend, and all morning since I woke up. I’m terrified to call, because it’s such an awkward conversation.

But it’s just like doing a back dive. You just have to push off with your feet, point your hands and arms straight up, and let gravity take control.

In this case, let God take control.

I’m moving slowly. Once I wrote all that, I picked my phone up and got the number ready to call. Now I’m sitting here, as though I’m positioning myself on the side of the pool.

Seriously, the anticipation is the worst part.

I’ve got my finger on the ‘call’ button, and once I press it, I’ve promised myself I’ll follow through.

And I’ve got what I’m going to say typed up in a Word document in case I freeze.

This is the moment when you stop thinking about the back dive and you just do it.


That was the easiest phone call ever. Even easier than a back dive.


1 Comment so far
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Dude so you’re not working at the bookstore now?
What’s the deal?

Comment by jess

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